To Count Vladimir Erclaim...

Posted on by The Corporate Clash Crew

To Count Vladimir Erclaim,

First of all, the company would like to indicate their awareness of yesterday’s incident at the “Frostbite! Icecream Parlor” store. The thirty complaints lodged at the Temporary (Until Construction of Boardbot Headquarters) Office of Boardbot Activity were sufficient to alert us to this event. The company will request that in the future, only one complaint per incident is filed.
In response to your various complaints, there is a reason that your office was not prepared for your arrival. The company has made the decision not to renew your contract going forward. We want to thank you for your service to the Coal, Oil, and Gas Syndicate over the past several years. Your ability to deter Toons away from important company business has been a valuable asset. The contracts tendered to you were reflective of our need for your services. 
However, circumstances at the company have changed. We are currently in the process of onboarding sixteen new managers. These new employees will be distributed to various locations throughout the “Toontown” land grant. We have vetted each candidate thoroughly and believe that the abilities of each manager alone far exceeds the value C.O.G.S., Inc. would get from any contract tendered to you. In addition, this process had been conducted at great expense to the company, meaning that available funds to hire contractors is limited at this time. These factors have led us to the conclusion that going in a different direction as it pertains to your status is in the company’s best interest at this time. The status of your cousin, Count Chad Atlas Erfit, is also being reviewed for possible nontendering, but no decision has been made as of this time.
It is currently not expected that we will need your services again, but if this becomes the case, then we will reach out to you to discuss your return to the company. 
the C.O.G.S., Inc. Office of Hiring and Garbage Sorting


You say your “new hires” must be greater than Erclaim. 
Do you have any idea how long I’ve reigned? 
You new-fangled C.O.G.S. with fresh-polished suits 
Have no respect for mine undying youth!

I’ve worked for you since the beginning, without a complaint. 
My work with the Toons has shown no restraint. 
But now you come in with a Duck & a Moon 
And think, without me, you can handle the Toons?

My estate, my name, to you is it naught? 
Does your oil need changing, are your gears having rot? 
My abode and my legacy, but from contract you refrain? 
This won’t be the last you’ll hear from Erclaim! 

C.O.G.S. won’t last on its own in this land. 
There’s only so much coal you can get on your hands. 
Suits like me, your life depends on ours; 
So reconsider your choices while you still have the power.


To Count Vladimir Erclaim,
The Coal, Oil, and Gas Syndicate has received you appeal, as well as the nine others that you filed simultaneously. While we will review one of your appeals, the other nine have been discarded. This memo is an effort to respond to some of the concerns expressed in your rejected appeals.
It is important for you to remember that you are not an official employee of C.O.G.S., Inc. You are merely a contractor. You are given permissions tantamount to employment during the period of your contract, but these permissions are temporary and do not reflect permanent employee status. Likewise, the organization reserves the right to not tender you a contract. We also would like to remind you that the Coal, Oil, and Gas Syndicate is an equal opportunity employer. All decisions are made without regard as to gender, age, manufacturer, hardware defects, or any similar criteria. 
The company requests that you refrain from insulting any of our recent hires. Mr. Ruffler and Mr. Kuiper are excellent employees who were vetted thoroughly by the company. Their skills will be put to excellent use in their respective districts: Mr. Ruffler in the Central Oil District, and Mr. Kuiper in the Coal & Ice District. As for your last point, the company is quite confident in its ability to thrive in the "Toontown" land grant. The hiring of these new managers is the start of a long and productive period in the history of C.O.G.S., Inc. That will be the case whether or not you remain a part of the company moving forward.
As previously mentioned, you have exercised your right to appeal the decision. All accepted appeals are processed in conjunction with the Suitopia Department of Labor Adherence. The Department of Labor Adherence will contact you if any additional information is needed.
The C.O.G.S., Inc. Office of Worker Concerns and Pink Slip Development


Your ego is gigantic
Your rules are insane
This won't be the last
That you'll hear of Erclaim!