An Alarming Alert of Aptitude


*bzzt*
Is this thing on? Hello? Ah, that's perfect. Yeees, that should be working. 

Hello, to everybody listening at this moment. My name is Mac Opsys, though I am better known as the Intelligence Master of the Toon Resistance. I am certain you've been aware of my past feats; after all, I was the one responsible for ensuring the Cogs would not have caught us off guard with their "Litigators" way back. You're welcome for that.

Today I bring very alarming news. Alarming enough to get me to send this broadcast to begin with–not something I would bother with if the scale of the problem wasn't *alarmingly* huge, obviously. For the Cogs, work is their way of life. As it turns out, they've been *working* on getting some new tricks up their sleeve. And when I say tricks, I do mean multiple. That's right, not one, not two, not three tricks. They have--

*bzzt*

Aha, foolish as always, Toon! As per usual, the security of your broadcast continues to prove the inherent lack of intellect of your kind. Unfortunately for you, this message will NOT be going through, my methods of ensuring the safety of my connection are much more sophisticated than anything you little pests could ever dream of. Now go ahead, give up while you're ahead and let your higher ups know how much it hurt to be bested by me, Brian! The Pr--

*bzzt*


Anyway... As I was saying. I have an important message to the Toon Resistance and all of those listening in, but clearly this connection I have established is not secure enough yet. I suppose it would not hurt to wait a bit longer, I must ensure that nothing goes wrong before t--

*bzzt*


How DARE you interrupt me, Toon! Do you have any idea who you're speaking over? I have graduated top of my class in the most prestigious institutions you could ever imagine! Meanwhile, Toons like you wouldn't be able to solve even the simplest of crosswords! You really think you can go around talking over me? I will let you kno--

*bzzt*

I am certain I could solve a crossword puzzle. Those are not complicated, you know. It's not li--

*bzzt*

Then PROVE IT! I would like to see you try to solve this! But I know you won't, because in terms of intelligence, I'll always be on top. But you? You'll always be fourth place, Toon. Class is dismissed, enjoy your homework, fool!

*bzzt*

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