Newscaster Nolan: … 

Newscaster Nolan: Shouldn’t something have happened?

Reporter Riley: What do you mean?

Newscaster Nolan: You know, something. It’s April Toons’ and that THING hasn’t shown up to drive us insane yet. 

Reporter Riley: Maybe they went on vacation? 

Newscaster Nolan: Maybe… Or maybe they’re planning something even WORSE than last year? What if they make us do an ad again? Or even worse... What if they make us PARTICIPATE in the show?!

Reporter Riley: As long as I don't need to do that accent again, I'm fine. Honestly, it's a bit boring without them. 

Newscaster Nolan: You can't be serious.

Reporter Riley: Well, I'M SERIOUSLY bored. 

Newscaster Nolan: Okay, "seriously bored"- just turn on the radio! There's got to be something interesting on right now. 

Click!

???: Now onto more company announcements.

Newscaster Nolan: A Cog transmission? Since when do we get those? 

???: After assessing our company budget, we have decided to move forward with experimental upgrades involving the Factory Foreman, Head Attorney, and Club President.

???: We advise you to take increased precaution inside the Sellbot Factory while installations are in progress.

???: C.O.G.S. Inc. is not responsible for any damages incurred from the result of interacting with any "unstable" Facility Managers.  

Reporter Riley: You'd think something about "experimental upgrades" would be a lot more fun to listen to, don't you think?

Reporter Riley: I'm even MORE bored, let me change to another station.

Click!

Low Baller 1 and 2: ... 

Low Baller 2: _{We're on! Quick, tthay it!} 

Low Baller 1: _Ahem! Do you like high tthakes?

Low Baller 2: And NOT the ones you eat!

Low Baller 1 and 2: Well we've got the show just for you! High Roller's...

Newscaster Nolan: Oh no... 

High Roller: HIIIIIGHH ROLLER!

High Roller: It'ff FFO good to be back and ffee all of your terrified little faffeff again! I know you all missed my ffhow, ffo we are back! Bigger than ever! Alll you Toonff could've ever wanted, will be here!

Newscaster Nolan: Would that include a way for you to leave us alone for once?

High Roller: No it would not! But it WILL have ffome new goodieff for all you Toonff, like theffe GORGEOUFF- HEY! Where are they? 

Low Baller 1: We gave them to the cool raccoon lady! 

Low Baller 2: We thought tthe’d help uth thell your new thwag, but I tthink tthe juttht ran off with it.

Low Baller 1: At leatht the earringth are here! 

Newcaster Nolan: CHANGE THE CHANNEL-

High Roller: Awwww, don't you want to hear about the wonderouff giftff I got you Toonff? You all were FFO nice thiff year!

Newcaster Nolan: NOW!

Click!

Lynn Decisive: Sweet, I’m on air.

Lynn Decisive: Heya, Toons. Lynn Decisive speaking.

Lynn Decisive: It's April, and I got some sweet deals for all of you.

Lynn Decisive: Y'know, I'm not the biggest fan of that "High Roller" that comes around this time of year. But I know lots of you Toons out there are. 

Lynn Decisive: Well, just so happens some funny lookin' ducks gave me allllll of this new stuff, for free! So stop by before they're all gone!

Lynn Decisive:  Y'know, I'm also running a little low on some of the Coggy stuff I got last year. Why don't you Toons...

Lynn Decisivie: Nah, not yet. The last thing I need are more Cogs on my tail. Speaking of Cogs-

???: Thunk! Swish! Quack.

Low Baller 1: LOOK! Thith ith the one that one lookth JUTHT like me! 

Low Baller 2: Here thhe ith, Mr. High Roller! Your newetht fan!

Lynn Decisive: GAH! Where did you two come from? 

High Roller: WELL HAHAHello you rambunctiouff racoon! Oh, I'm jufft FFO happy to ffee my fanbaffe grow each and every year! Now, what'ff your favorite thing about yourff truly?

Lynn Decisive: Well I uh- I JUST remembered I was gonna ask some sentient mailboxes about something that's been buggin' me for ages.

Lynn Decisive: Now if you don't mind me I'm just gonna squeeze riiiight past you and-

Low Baller 1: WAIT! Don't you want to talk about how incredible Mr. High Roller iff? 

Low Baller 2: It'll be worth your time, promithe!

Newscaster Nolan: ABSOLUTELY. NOT. 

Click!

Newscaster Nolan:...

Newcaster Nolan: You think Lynn will give me another discount if I promoted her new wares?

Reporter Riley: Weren't you the one just talking about how much hate that bird?

Newcaster Nolan: I said promote her new wares, not buy! I might hate that bird, but I love a sweet deal even more. 

???: knock knock knock

Reporter Riley: Were we expecting someone?

???: quack 

Notes from the Corporate Clash Crew

Hello, one and all!

This year brings yet another exciting April Toons, welcoming once again the infamous High Roller and the formidable Face the Family!

As mentioned previously, the C.O.O. will be coming later this year, but don't fret! We've got a few silly surprises in store. Maybe 6 or 7, even.

For spoilers on said surprises, check out our patch notes HERE

If you would like to see all the lovely people who made this April Toons so Toony, check out the credits HERE

Finally, there WILL be an April Toons comic this year, though it will be coming this weekend to allow our artists time for finishing touches.

Happy April Toons!