Eustace, We Have A Problem...

Posted on March 31, 2021

What? What year is it?

You think I need my glasses? No, you need glasses Lewis!
What do you mean your name is John?

You would not believe what I saw! Those darn kids are always up to something!

Bah! I was down on the porch watching the cows go by when I noticed that they had gone and changed Twilight Terrace! Those rapscallions always want change! Change this! Change that! Change your clothes! Bah! They keep trying to tell me it’s better, but I don’t believe those darn kids! They keep blabberin’ about some fancy schmancy new shortcut! Gah! Back in my day, we just walked! We had to walk 100 miles just to go to the gag shop, and now they ain’t even happy with their portable holes, they need a shortcut on a street as well! Oh, the sloth of this generation woes me!

“You’re out of touch,” they tell me! Then they go and claim I’m out of time… I can’t put up with it! It’s the second most annoying thing they do! Right behind those dagnabbit, 19 bean shirts they get from some… I think it was a residual range? Hmph. It doesn’t matter. Not to mention those new fangled street maps?! We had to just guess! Those new toons are so spoiled, they have no work ethic! They can just step onto a street and know what building to go to? Ergh! 

And then they come down here and announce some Boredbot HQ, thinking they are so funny! “You can scuttle on down and talk to some furniture,” bah! Why would I want to do that! My back would give out before I could make the walk anyway! Regh! Unites this! SOS that! What about when we had those boxing gloves in cans! Things were so much simpler back then.

I… I uhh… auuuuu. *yawn* Oh, look, it’s almost 4 PM. Time to down some prune juice and go to bed.

-Eustace Bronston

You can view the latest Patch Notes HERE


Toon Mail