ATTN: Summer Upgrades
Posted on August 04, 2023 by C.O.G.S., Incorporated
To all employees of C.O.G.S., Incorporated,
As some of you are aware, upgrades to under-performing managers have been initiated and facilitated by the Suit Safety Inspection Association. The proposed modifications, expected to bring these managers into compliance with safety regulations, are at last ready to be rolled out. Performance of these managers is projected to increase over 30% across the board as a result of the modifications. The upgrades are designed specifically to further their resilience to Toon-related incidents and reduce continued disruptions in daily operations.
It has also been brought to management's attention that Suit belongings have been disappearing from the Executive Lawfice's storage. We'd like to remind employees to ensure any borrowed suits, books, ties, or other Law department supplies are returned to storage immediately following completion of use. Please contact Ms. Diane Morsecode for any questions regarding borrowed items from the Law department. Employees found intentionally withholding borrowed Law supplies are subject not only to written warnings, but will be held liable for the full value of the item, plus interest, the late fee, and compensation for any emotional damage caused by the item's delayed return.
Additionally, trouble has been uncovered in our financial department; now at the hands of the Toons. We have received reports of Toons taking "inspiration" from our practices in the form of Counterfeits, equipping them with additional jokes. The Law department has determined this new strategy of theirs to be a liability to the integrity of our brand. Remain vigilant–you can never be certain when a Toon has run out of tricks up their sleeves.
In spite of their advances, Toons have discovered a way to slip away from encounters through the process of surrender. Due to this newfound cowardice, projections predict that the tides are turning in our favor.
If you have reached the end of this memo, you have exceeded your allotted break time for this week. Get back to work.
Notes from the Corporate Clash Crew
Hi Toons and welcome to the 1.4.0 update! We've changed how we push out new versions slightly, and we're switching to a 3-part versioning system of <major>.<minor>.<patch>. This means the next content update will be 1.5, and the first bugfix release for 1.4 will be 1.4.1. This change aligns us more to how other games handle versioning.
There are two other things we'd like to highlight:
- Gag-up Unites have been removed and all Gag-up Unites have been converted into Counterfeits, with each Unite being converted to 4 Counterfeits.
- The maximum amount of Counterfeits you can have is 9999; in other words, if you have more than 2499 Gag-Up Unites, the excess will be lost.
- For Windows 7 / 8.1 users: We withdrew support for these versions when 1.3 came out in November 2022, and as of 1.4 the launcher will no longer be able to connect to the game. Please upgrade to Windows 10 or 11 to continue playing the game.